Enjoy these hilarious sarcastic new year quotes:Updated 1:48 am edt, fri june 28, 2024 link copied!
My doctor says i need a little more vitamin 'sea'.Funny quotes 2024 part 2.Funny happy new year quotes for your friends our new year messages for friends are tailored to add a dash of wit and merriment to your celebrations.
Your class of 2023 grad will not stop smiling.Jazz is smooth and cool.
I can't gloss over biden's performance.35 inspirational & funny july quotes for 2024 (hello july quotes) the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.Fantasy family comedy written and directed by john krasinski.
Be wise, because the world needs wisdom.Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
Here we give you 105 of the best near year's instagram captions for 2024 to make that part extra easy.35 inspirational & funny may quotes for 2024 (hello may quotes) life's a beach, and i'm just playing in the sand.The sky isn't the limit—the sky has no limit..
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship.
Another year gone by, and i'm still not a millionaire.If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.Ring out the false, ring in the true.
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
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Montella Will Have To Work Magic With Depleted Turkey Squad V Austria
The 2024 NHL offseason is off to a wild start. Just four days after the Florida Panthers won the Stanley Cup, an epic 2024 NHL draft took place at Sphere in Las Vegas, including several big trades along with 225 prospects finding new homes.
Now it's time for the league's 32 front offices to add to their rosters via free agency.
Here is our continuously updated tracker, featuring a list of every player signed, along with analysis of the biggest deals and buzz on what could happen next.
Note that the newest deals are on top, denoted by date.
More: Grades Player rankings Team guides Draft recap: Team grades Winners, losers
July 1In their quest to get a little better than last season, the Oilers have added a proven scorer, inking Jeff Skinner to a one-year, $3 million deal following his buyout by the Sabres. They also re-signed playoff hero Mattias Janmark to a three-year, $4.35 million deal.
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Lots of turnover in the Carolina back end this offseason, but it added a good one in 29-year-old Sean Walker, agreeing to a five-year, $18 million deal.
The Sharks continue to make wise veteran additions to their young roster, inking a two-year, $10 million deal with center Alex Wennberg.
Dallas continues its spending spree on veteran defenseman, re-signing Nils Lundkvist for one year, $1.25 million.
The NHL playing career will continue for Corey Perry, as the veteran is re-signing with the Oilers for one year, $1.4 million.
The Kings have added some size and snarl to their defense corps, inking veteran Joel Edmundson to a four-year, $15.4 million deal.
The Avalanche add to their depth on the blue line, agreeing to terms with veteran defenseman Calvin de Haan on a one-year, $800,000 deal.
Forward Anthony Beauvillier has been well-traveled the past few seasons, and he's off to a new team again for 2024-25, inking a one-year, $1.25 million deal with the Penguins.
Goaltender Jack Campbell's massive deal with the Oilers didn't work out so well, and he has moved on to the Red Wings, agreeing to terms on a one-year, $775,000 contract.
The Capitals continue adding to their roster, agreeing to terms on a one-year, $1 million deal with forward Taylor Raddysh.
Another veteran defenseman has landed in Dallas: Ilya Lyubushkin is signing a two-year, $6.5 million contract with the Stars.
The Islanders have finally entered the chat! Defenseman Mike Reilly is coming back on a one-year contract, while forward Anthony Duclair is heading back to the Metropolitan Division by way of a four-year, $14 million deal.
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The Red Wings add to their blue-line group with former Rangers defenseman Erik Gustafsson, agreeing to a two-year, $4 million deal.
After finishing the 2023-24 season with the Lightning, veteran defenseman Matt Dumba is headed to the Stars by way of a two-year, $7.5 million deal. And after skating for the Devils this past season, fellow blueliner Brendan Smith is also headed to Dallas, by way of a one-year, $1 million deal.
Sam Steel is returning to the Stars, agreeing to terms on a one-year, $1.2 million contract with Dallas.
Veteran agitator Garnet Hathaway will stick with the Flyers by way of a two-year, $4.8 million extension.
Another Stanley Cup champ is leaving the Panthers, as Ryan Lomberg is signing a two-year, $4 million deal with the Flames.
Former Golden Knight forward Chandler Stephenson is heading up to Seattle, inking a seven-year, $43.75 million contract with the Kraken.
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It's a move that won't get as much attention as signing Stamkos, Marchessault and Skjei, but the Predators made an addition to their goaltending group, signing Scott Wedgewood to a two-year, $3 million deal.
The Stars have found their backup for Jake Oettinger, agreeing to terms with Casey DeSmith on a one-year, $3 million contract.
After a run to the Stanley Cup Final with the Oilers, forward Warren Foegele is heading to L.A., inking a three-year, $10.5 million deal with the Kings.
Veteran defenseman Matt Grzelcyk will not be patrolling the blue line for the Bruins; instead, he's signing a one-year, $2.75 million deal with the Penguins.
After plying his trade for the Hurricanes in recent seasons, Stefan Noesen is headed back to the Devils, agreeing to a three-year, $8.25 million deal.
The Stars are staying in the Matt Duchene business, inking a one-year, $3 million extension with the veteran forward.
A key depth forward for the Golden Knights the past two seasons, Michael Amadio is joining the Senators by way of a three-year, $7.8 million contract.
Jonathan Drouin experienced a renaissance with the Avalanche in 2023-24, and he'll keep it going for at least one more season, inking a one-year, $2.5 million deal.
Yet another former Bruin heading to Vancouver, as Danton Heinen is joining the Canucks via a two-year, $4.5 million contract.
Veteran goaltender Matt Murray will be back with the Maple Leafs for 2024-25, agreeing to terms on a one-year, $875,000 pact.
It was a tale of two seasons for Cam Talbot in 2023-24, as a great start gave way to a rough finish. He'll hope for a consistently strong campaign with the Red Wings, after agreeing to a two-year, $5 million deal.
Former Bruin Jake DeBrusk has landed in Vancouver, inking a seven-year, $38.5 million deal with the Canucks.
Deal details | Grade
In need of some veteran help down the middle, the Blue Jackets are signing Sean Monahan to a five-year, $27.5 million deal.
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The Capitals continue to build around the edges, inking Brandon Duhaime to a two-year, $3.7 million contract.
After winning the Stanley Cup with the Panthers, forward Kevin Stenlund is headed to the Hockey Club via a two-year, $4 million deal.
Defenseman William Carrier is signing with the Hurricanes, agreeing to terms on a six-year, $12 million contract.
Veteran forward Kiefer Sherwood is headed to Vancouver, coming to terms on a two-year, $3 million deal with the Canucks.
The Hurricanes lost some defensemen in free agency, but they're keeping a pretty important one for the foreseeable future, agreeing to an eight-year, $51.69 million extension for Jaccob Slavin.
After re-signing Joseph Woll this offseason, the Maple Leafs added a veteran option in Anthony Stolarz via a two-year, $5 million pact.
The Minnesota Wild are on the board, inking forward Yakov Trenin to a four-year, $14 million contract.
Veteran defenseman Nikita Zadorov has landed in Boston by way of a six-year, $30 million contract with the Bruins.
Deal details | Grade
The Oilers have boosted their forward depth for the next two seasons, inking Viktor Arvidsson to a two-year, $8 million deal.
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The Sabres add a veteran scoring winger in Jason Zucker, agreeing to a one-year, $5 million pact.
Another veteran defenseman is joining the Devils, as Brenden Dillon has agreed to a three-year, $12 million contract with New Jersey.
The Flames have brought back one of their own -- Yegor Sharangovich for five years, $28.75 million -- and an external free agent as well, in Anthony Mantha (one year, $3.5 million).
Former Stanley Cup champion David Perron will continue his NHL career with the Senators, agreeing to a two-year, $4 million contract.
Yet another veteran defenseman is headed to Utah, as Ian Cole is signing a one-year, $3.1 million deal with the Hockey Club.
The Bruins added a major boost to the center position, inking Elias Lindholm to a seven-year, $54.25 million contract.
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The Predators have entered the chat, inking deals with three of the top free agents on the market:
Steven Stamkos (four years, $32 million) Jonathan Marchessault (five years, $25 million) Brady Skjei (seven years, $49 million)Deal details | Grades
Veteran scoring winger Tyler Toffoli is headed back to California, signing a four-year, $24 million deal with the Sharks.
Deal details | Grade
Fresh off winning the Stanley Cup, defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson has signed a four-year, $14 million contract with the Maple Leafs.
Veteran netminder Eric Comrie is back with the Jets, agreeing to terms on a one-year, $825,000 contract.
The Blackhawks are focused on surrounding Connor Bedard with some veteran help, adding Tyler Bertuzzi (four years, $22 million), Teuvo Teravainen (three-years, $16.2 million), Pat Maroon (one-year, $1.3 million), Alec Martinez (one year, $4 million) and Craig Smith (one-year, $1 million).
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After trading for Jakob Chychrun, the Capitals continued adding to their blue line, signing Matt Roy to a seven-year, $38.5 million contract.
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The Kraken have landed one of the top free agents on the market, inking a seven-year, $50 million deal with defenseman Brandon Montour.
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Forward Sam Lafferty, 29, is headed to Buffalo, inking a two-year, $4 million contract with the Sabres.
Rugged forward Jordan Martinook will not be leaving Carolina, signing a three-year, $9.15 million deal with the Hurricanes.
The Devils have added a critical player to their blue-line group, signing former Hurricanes blueliner Brett Pesce to a six-year, $33 million contract.
Deal details | Grade
Veteran forward Kasperi Kapanen is re-signing with the Blues, inking a one-year, $1 million deal to stay in St. Louis.
Restricted free agent forward Connor McMichael has extended his business relationship with the Capitals, inking a two-year, $4.20 million pact.
Erik Johnson played 67 games for the Flyers in 2023-24, and he'll play some more in 2024-25, given his new one-year, $1 million deal with the club.
The Maple Leafs traded for an exclusive negotiating window with veteran defenseman Chris Tanev, and consummated that relationship on Monday via a six-year, $27 million contract. The team also finally confirmed the new deal for RFA netminder Joseph Woll (three years, $10.98 million).
Deal details | Grade
The Panthers agreed to terms on an eight-year, $69 million deal with forward Sam Reinhart.
Deal details | Grade
After trading a 2025 third-round draft pick for Jake Guentzel's negotiating rights, the Lightning have sealed the deal with the forward on a seven-year, $63 million contract.
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June 30Veteran forward Patrick Kane is back with the Red Wings, inking a one-year, $4 million contract.
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Restricted free agent center Isac Lundestrom has re-signed with the Ducks, inking a one-year, $1.5 million deal.
The Utah Hockey Club continues to work on its blue line, re-signing RFA Sean Durzi to a four-year, $24 million contract.
In need of a boost on the blue line this summer, the Maple Leafs will start with one of their own, re-signing RFA Timothy Liljegren to a two-year, $6 million contract.
Deal details
Veteran forward Max Domi will not be exploring the market, as he returns to the Maple Leafs via a four-year, $15 million deal.
